Monthly Archives for July 2015

Oh Future, my Future

I want the unequivocal YES,
I want the sweet joy of riding bikes under the arching trees toward home,
I want whatever beautiful plant this is to grow in the garden of my mythical dream.
Oh Future, my Future,
envelope me with the regal fierceness of a July afternoon,
serenade to me with the gentle piercing call of dawn,
reach up to me through this rich earth
and show me where to plant these eager starts. 

  
 

One day

Leaving California again,
this time in the direction of power,
undulating through the mountain-rich wilds,
over the long miles,
I practice my “forgive you’s”.
One day soon I will be able to express them
fully,
unfollowed by anger.

One day.

The selfish suffering part of me
is not yet willing
to accept defeat
in this last battle.

One day,
soon.

We have some miles more to go yet.

room for the heart

Follow your science,
if you will,
but allow room for the heart (to live).
It is not logical,
nor linear,
it cannot be confined
inside your empirically-designed
compartments and rules.

Prescribe you view,
if you will,
but allow room for the heart (to grow).
To be unbounded,
to be free,
to bring you all the limitless possibilities
of a life
made with love.

tide

Everything is measured in distance from you.
There are moments,
even series of them,
that extend beyond breaths,
where the swell of the earth
overflows the ache,
but,
like the ocean,
inexorable,
it returns,
filling every crevice
with the absence of you.

reset

I will admit, I was a bit leery of coming back to the Bay, even for just the single day I had scheduled in the midst of my continuing roadtrip. Surprisingly though, the undefinable funk I’ve been unable to figure or even feel my way out of the last two weeks has amazingly dissipated, practically overnight.

I feel excited about all the possibilities again. Those incomplete tasks that have been hanging over my head since last month now look like alluringly ripe fruit to be plucked and eaten pleasurably. Whatever clogged the words from coming has also melted away and I can feel the flow funneling back into my head in a delicious stream.

Dangerous still to be here; to skirt the sucking hole of head bent over phone, blinders on to the world; to treat the beggars as invisible ghosts; to deafen my ears and numb my heart to the overwhelming press of people and emotions and things and doings; to deaden the reacting flicker of humanity in response to passerby and bury myself in the judgement of all around; to lose my focus in all the looming distractions and let the sea of possibilities sweep me away. Dangers aplenty.

Maybe it is merely the comfort and lure of the familiar. Maybe it is just the turning of time beyond my ability to measure, or the unlocking of some geographical code in reverse, but I find I have returned to the winged fire of myself’s own Sun and I can feel it shining again.

Life is such a strange and terribly confusing and wonderfully delightful adventure. All the time.