I acknowledge that the idea of death and/or dead bodies is something that can be very upsetting for some people, so if this is something you feel strongly, please CONSIDER NOT READING PAST THE BREAK.

I had an amazing experience last weekend in the cadaver class that was offered as a continuing education opportunity through my massage school and I’d like to share the beauty I found in it and also the extreme gratitude I feel for this experience. Personally I feel that there is a grace and a tremendous learning that we can gain by becoming more familiar with death and that our culture’s avoidance and estrangement around this stage of life has been very detrimental in keeping us from fully connecting to and understanding our experience in the greater scope of existence.

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I have held two hearts in my hands, one twice as big as the other, and marveled at the shape of them, the rigid strength of the artery walls that are still, somehow, flexible, considered how unknowable it is how this structure physically enthrones the soul, I have held the complex corals of two brains, one whole, one bisected, amazed at the smallness this density of crenellations and ridges contains in contrast with the vast grandeur and self-importance we constantly inflate it with it, have wondered at the delicate squid of a spinal cord, the strips of it’s sheath shiny and clear as masking tape, so wraith-like without that wise fluid that pulses the deepest breath in the body, have felt curiously the greyish lobes of the lungs, the deep smooth surface of the liver and it’s surprisingly sharp (in death) edges, the startling splash of the gallbladder’s viridian signature, have considered the empty cavern of abdomen where many of these organs lived wrapped tightly in the silk-like swaddle of the diaphragm that snugged it to the ribs, have been astounded to feel between my fingers the trapezius and latissimus muscles, the strength of those broad wings impossibly belied by their apparent thinness, have grasped the thick rope of levator scapulae and the cordage of the scalenes, normally hidden by the dangerously thin layers of skin and artery and vein in our regal necks, have stared in awe at the unexpected beauty that is the mother-of-pearl shine of the tendons as they race through the body like luminous strands of moonlight anchoring earthly muscles to bone, have been even more awed to fully grok the expanse of the fascia, how it lovingly wraps each muscle and separate part in swathes of shining stardust networking connection to the whole, have been so humbled to witness the bright dash of nail polish, the soft curl of the toes intact, the texture of the skin around the elbow and see in their clues the whispers of life lived by this person who granted us the great gift of their body, so that it could keep giving another year after their soul’s passage from this world, have been so deeply moved by this opportunity to glimpse a deeper understanding of these our human bodies, have welcomed this expanded sense of wonder at how so many myriad parts could possibly collaborate together to give me/us the divine and endlessly fascinating experience of this physical being in this physical world, have wondered still how we do not constantly just stop overwhelmed and absorbed at it’s functioning…

Would that we all witness in ourselves this great gift of physicality, this unique embodiment we are granted in this world through the supporting dance of blood and tissue and bones, would that we all feed this form with the manna of deepest gratitude for the existence it allows us here and the shape it lends us to express our personality in time.

#gratitude #learning #ourbodies #gifts #perspectives #death #life